Passionately Awkward

Summer Music in the City

2010-04-12T21:51:00.004-04:00

With only three weeks left in the semester, my mind wanders to thoughts of summer. The sun, the bathing suit clad men and women, and of course, the out-door music festivals. Single act shows become less frequent as major-label and indie acts showcase their sound together on one stage. Whole days and weekends become filled with live music, where you are able to binge on your favorite and yet-to-be-discovered sounds.

My passionate readers from Toronto, Montreal and in between won’t need to travel far to enjoy the summer scene. Here is a list of some of the must-see summer concert series in the city.

Luminato
June 11-20, Toronto

Toronto’s Festival of Arts and Creativity features a selection of music, dance, theatre, film, literature, visual arts, and design. An all around festival will allow you to imagine everything.

Featured Artists: Rufus Wainwright, Bruce Cockburn, Béla Fleck and Massekou Kouyate, as well as actor John Malkovich with the Vienna Academy Orchestra

Cost: Free- $200

NXNE
June 14-20, Toronto

You want indie, you want major-label? Then you want NXNE. Featuring over 650 artists at 50 official stages, NXNE will be hard to avoid. Expect to find musicians playing at all the downtown clubs as well as coffee shops, street corners, subway stations, your bathroom, etc.. Let the scene envelop you and educate yourself on some of the best up-and-coming and established international acts.

Featured Artists: Yet to be announced, but an insider told me that there is a major headliner rumored for the Saturday night.

Cost: $79-$399

Toronto Island Concert

Saturday, June 19, Olympic Island, Toronto

Fighting with NXNE for their single day show, Toronto Island will certainly garner some attention with a strong lineup, returning attendees and a unique location.

Featured Artists: Pavement, Broken Social Scene, Band of Horses, Beach House, and Timbre Timbre

Cost: $49.50

Vans Warped Tour
Friday, July 09, Arrow Hall, Toronto
Saturday, July 10, Parc Jean Drapeau, Montreal

This punk/ska/skate/emo/screamo/rock show is 12-hour long mosh pit. If you can keep up, take the day off work and push your way through the teens. Just beware of concussions, dehydration and heat stroke, like I suffered back in '06 ------------>

Featured Artists: Alkaline Trio, Motion City Soundtrack, Sum 41, Andrew W.K., The All-American Rejects, The Swellers, and The Rocket Summer

Cost: $49.50-$57.50

Osheaga

July 31-August 1, Montreal, Parc Jean-Drapeau on Île Sainte-Hélène

Osheaga has an all star lineup this year with bands that most people have heard of but whom still maintain indie cred. The weekend is sure to attract all levels of musical intellectuals. Not to mention the selling point of being in Montreal.

Featured Artists: Arcade Fire, Weezer, Pavement, Metric, The Cat Empire, and the Black Keys

Cost: $65-$190

I apologize for the limited geographic scope of this post, but if you make it to the city this summer, I offer you my couch.

As always, my awkward allies, I will see you in the mosh pit.

Prime-Time Bi-Sexuals

2010-04-07T20:43:00.007-04:00

This television season, bi-sexuality has been featured on TV’s most popular shows. Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Heroes, Gossip Girl, Glee and 90210 have all created characters that are alluded to, or actually experience the fairer sex.

No surprise, I think this is great. Openly talking about bi-sexuality not only reflects modern sexual culture, but also opens communication for alternative forms of sexuality that have otherwise been hidden, oversexed or demonized.

Popular culture’s representation of bi-sexuality has been evolving over time, but interesting progress has been made over this television season.

First, Gossip Girl. Dan and then girlfriend Olivia, played by Hilary Duff, and Vanessa agree to have the elusive threesome. Passionate, hot, mostly covered to comply with CW standards; the threesome is a pre- and post-pubescent wet dream. However, the morning and days after result in the demise of Dan and Olivia’s relationship because Olivia “saw how [Dan] looked at Vanessa”, revealing that Dan is actually in love with Vanessa. A bit of a warning against the ménage a trois: do it and your boyfriend will leave you. But hey, at least girl-on-girl got some camera time.

Next, Desperate Housewives. Katherine finds out her sexy stripper roommate is a lesbian, and after a few passionate encounters and confused feelings, she admits her attraction. Again, great to give the coverage: one woman falling in love with another, lots of confused self reflection, a realistic bevy of emotions; but the beautiful freedom of expression is othered as the characters acknowledge their outsiderness and opt to disappear from the misunderstanding eyes and judging stares of Wisteria Lane.

But then last week, 90210 gave bi-sexuals the coverage and conversation they deserve. Adrianna’s new friend, Gia, admits her lesbian lust for her. Scared and confused, Adrianna confides in her besties, Naomi and Silver, and Silver says the following,

Adrianna - "... If I'm having feelings for a girl, does it mean I'm gay?"

Silver - "I dunno, I don't think sexuality is black and white. It's more of, like a spectrum. Yeah there are some people who are 100% gay or a 100% straight. But honestly, I think most of us fall somewhere in the middle. It just depends on where we are and who we're open to falling in love with. At least that's what Kinsey found. You know, the important thing is not to get caught up in the labels. How does Gia make you feel?"

Amazing. Here are a group of girls at an age of self-realizing sexual identity fully accepting their friend’s feelings. No judgement, no shock, and best of all, no hetero-sexualizing or over-sexing it. They do not make bi-sexuality the evil, abnormal sister of heterosexuality, but rather state it as it is, a matter of fact preference. No worse, no better, no more deviant, no sexier than the heterosexual “norm”. Even when Adrianna and Gia kiss for the first time, it's awkward and shy. This is how bi-sexuality and alternative forms of sexuality should be approached. Yes, I know it’s coming from the CW, but they have loyal legions of young fans that are seeing this complete acceptance and the removal of oversexualizing that Kat Perry songs and Tila Tequila trash have previously misrepresented.

Bi-sexuals rejoice! Please let this be a sign of a new generation of understanding and sexual exploration, removed from deviant and over sexed labels. Love men, love women, love sex and be a happy, healthy, accepted individual!

Top 5 Bands That Challenge My Music Cred

2010-04-05T18:57:00.003-04:00

Like any good music junkie, I listen to a lot of music you’ve never heard of. I make party playlists absent of Beyonce and Black Eyed Peas. I first heard that song on that new iPod commercial/Gossip Girl episode months ago. It took me four weeks to see the new Lady Gaga video, but four minutes to find out that Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros were going on tour.

But, for all the obscure music I spend countless hours researching, listening to, and talking about, there is some pretty embarrassing stuff on my iPod. Songs that I will belt out in my car, but if they came on while someone was in the room, I would leap up and change.

These are the bands that I lose music cred over:

Marianas Trench

A guilty, but honest favourite of mine; I love all the songs this band does. Shakeatramp is a brilliant video, Good to You makes me cry, and Masterpiece Theatre I, II, and III are brilliantly mixed and harmonized. This is a band that I will admit that I’m embarrassed to love, but I will keep on despite listener outcries.

Jonas Brothers

In my defence, I just have two songs (Love Bug and Paranoid). Yes I know all the lyrics and yes I once had a dream that I dated one of the brothers. We held hands. It was hot.

Glee Soundtrack

This is legitimately good music. It took me three years of dating a musical man to appreciate this art form, but the songs are catchy, the show is cute, and I have a major love-on for Puck. That being said, if any of these songs came on while in the presence of hipsters, I would throw myself out.

Billboard Top Pop-Emo Songs (Metro Station, Mission District, Owl City)

You know those really annoying songs that make it to MuchMusic’s top ten? Yeah, I love them. I usually lose interest after the first two weeks of listening to them obsessively, but they remain on my iPod.

Girl Country (Taylor Swift, Dixie Chicks, Sheryl Crow, Shania Twain)

Taylor Swift (You Belong with Me) and Dixie Chicks (Not Ready to Make Nice) make me tear up. Shania Twain and Sheryl Crow were among my first introductions to music. And sometimes a girl just needs to stomp around her room in stilettos and a new outfit to Man I Feel Like a Woman and scream over her ex to If It Makes You Happy.

I may have just lost the little bit of music cred I have built up over this blog, but hopefully you'll still check back for passionate updates on the must-know-but-you-don't-know bands.

So, what are your guilty music pleasures?

(Photos from http://www.israbox.com/uploads/posts/1147815292_shania_twain__greatest_hits.jpg, http://blog.muchmusic.com/archives/images/metro-station-aug-13-a.jpg, http://www.yorkblog.com/flipside/JonasBrothers.jpg, http://joyhog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/gleelogo2.jpg, http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7900000/Marianas-Trench-marianas-trench-7929057-326-400.jpg)

LG Fashion Week

2010-03-27T12:49:00.000-04:00

So I wanted to blog about LGFW, on tomorrow through Thursday, but the FDCC's social media communications have been so incredible, I’m just going to link my passionate readers to their many resources.

Website- Info for/on sponsors, designers, buyers, and consumers; the site leaves no information out. And like any good PR plan, there is a blog; loyally updated every three days with Designer Profile’s.

Twitter- Oh course they’re on Twitter; re-tweeting, answering questions, counting down, and Tweeting designer and model updates. (BTW, did you know PA’s favourite, Crystal Renn is walking for Joe Fresh?). My #FF goes to them.

Facebook- The same information, but all in one place. Regularly updated with comments by their fans, the FDCC is an example of a company using Facebook properly.

Events- Aside from the actual runway shows (schedule available here), they are also hosting two parties. Party of Style I, March 28, and Party of Style II, April 1, are a must for Toronto fashionistas.

Ticketweb- For per-show or week passes, jump to this site for tickets.

News Coverage- LFGW has been sure to get their name out there, with consistent coverage in local and national publications.

Me- That’s right, yours passionately will be working in the runway room for each show. I’ll be the one in all black, with a headset, a clip board, a giant (but very serious) grin on her face.

See you on the runway.

Hey Beautiful, Show Me Your Agony

2010-03-24T15:22:00.004-04:00

Do ever think to yourself, “Man, I look hot when I orgasm.”

"In fact, I’m so hot I’m going to video tape it.”

“You know what, I am so hot, I’m going to put that video on the internet for everyone to appreciate (and probably masturbate to).”

Well great news! You’re not the only one! There is in fact an entire website dedicated to showing, from the shoulders up, the beauty of the orgasm; brilliantly titled, Beautiful Agony.

The site shows the artistic value of the genuine orgasm. Unlike the majority of pornography out there, Beautiful Agony depicts real people having very real orgasms. No exaggerations or performances, but complete reality.

For the artists and the open, you can submit your video if it adheres to the sites guidelines:

The videos must be shot from the shoulders up, full face, no nudity.
You must be over 18.
The video has to be a quality recording, with good lighting and minimal background noise; meaning no Enya, or Nine Inch Nails, or whatever else you usually masturbate to.
You have to capture the whole thing: warm up, climax and cool down.
Once you’re done, give your confession. Reveal you and your friend’s most intimate secrets about orgasms, masturbation, and sex.

And for your agony filled contribution, you’ll be paid $USD200 plus one month’s access to Beautiful Agony.

For the voyeurs out there, check out the site’s free previews or buy a membership for US$14.95 for 30 days or US$29.95 for 90 days. (You didn’t think you could get unlimited agony for free, did you?).

So go on, do it. I know a few of my readers must have some pretty beautiful orgasms. (I have about three people in mind actually...). Do/watch it with yourself, your friends, or your partner. It’s pure, honest, and of course beautiful, entertainment.

And for my passionate readers, here are some of my awkward confessions:

Is Agony sexy?

Yes. I didn’t think so at first. When I was a senior in high school, a junior told me how her boyfriend and her would masturbate in front of each other all the time. At the time, I was incredibly grossed out by the idea. That is until second year university when a partner suggested the voyeur experience and I learned to appreciate the expression.

Have you looked at many other people’s Agonies? How did they affect you?

I have, and I think that they are incredibly sexy, raw and beautiful. There is nothing more intimate then seeing someone at their most vulnerable and most content.

What sort of reaction do you hope to get from people who watch your Agony?

Definitely not to be freaked out, ideally to think I’m beautiful. You are incredibly vulnerable when reaching an orgasm, the worst thing someone can do is laugh or say something equally humiliating.

Have you got any good stories of Agony faces you’ve seen on your partners?

I had a lover who orgasmed like he was rocking out. Eyes squeezed shut, tongue hanging out the side, teeth barred, sweating; it was like he was doing a guitar solo on his penis.

So be loud, be proud and enjoy your orgasm. And why not video tape it while you're at it.

Musicians Wanted Revolutionizing the Industry

2010-03-22T18:39:00.001-04:00

Independent musicians are now receiving a lot more coverage, fans, and even money, all while in control of their image and sound.

Thanks to YouTube’s Musicians Wanted program, announced last week at the SXSW music festival, independent artists can now upload unsigned music videos and live musical performances onto the site. The U.S. based program is looking for all genres of original music video content that meet YouTube’s quality standards; bands need only to apply. The bands custom designed pages will include tour dates and “buy” links for music and merchandise. All the music videos will be available in their own searchable section on YouTube, allowing for fast and direct searches.

Additionally, the artists receive “a majority” of the advertising generated from pre-roll, text and overlay advertising on a monthly basis as part of Google’s YouTube Partner Program; a privilege previously limited to signed artists’ videos only. They can increase their revenue and fame further as the videos can also be embedded on external websites, including blogs like this one. Since the bands are unsigned, they also receive every cent paid out by YouTube, as opposed to giving a chunk of that money to their label.

This reflects the movement away from traditional media as well as the favouring of the independent artist.

In the 1980s, music videos on networks like MuchMusic and MTV dictated music trends, creating scenes and superstars for the public to follow. But both networks have since forgone their music focus and opted for more “genre shows”, like the beloved Jersey Shore; confirming this shift by dropping the “music television” tagline from their logo in February of this year.

But the music video form has not lost popularity, but has rather moved online where people can watch whatever videos they want on demand. Music videos are actually among the most viewed of online videos.

Now music videos no longer require the big budgets of big labels to get noticed. Although label videos are still getting ample play time, independent bands are now getting similar coverage for a fraction of the cost. Artists are taking their careers into their own hands, no longer forced to get noticed by and bend to labels. This viral culture privileges creativity and talent over the wealth and status of an artist.

This is an important shift as it is allowing musicians to be in control of their profits, popularity, image and sound. It reflects the independent culture where everyone now has the chance to showcase and profit off their talent without the creative constraints of a label. Best of all, it is allowing a wide variety of music to reach the mainstream instead of churning out similar acts based on a successful cookie-cutter mould.

So...

Do music videos still dictate the soundtrack of popular culture?

Are we living in an indie culture? Is this a good thing?

What does this mean for the big labels? What should their next marketing move be?

OK Go was the first band to sign with the Musicians Wanted program

(Sources from http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2010/03/sxsw-youtube-launches-partner-program-for-indie-bands/#ixzz0irAMQpzH, http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/mar/18/ok-go-viral-video-success, http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5in7skAOxgtgunzcRYsF48Hf27Hiw)

You're Drunk, Give Me Your Phone.

2010-03-17T21:16:00.001-04:00

Admit it, you do it. In fact 60% of you do it with your mouth, 68% with your hands. It happens after 2a.m. and too many cocktails. You do it to your friends, your co-workers, and, the most unfortunate of times, your exes.

Drunk dialing and drunk texting is a serious problem that the majority of us can admit to.

We drunkenly stare at our cell phones, trying to scroll to the right name and smash the right keys, in order to send that wrong message that is unlikely to be said in more sober times.

Fortunately technology has come to our rescue, creating apps for our cell phones and e-mail accounts to prevent our alcohol inspired rants and confessions.

For those prone to drunk e-mailing, Gmail is there to help you out. There is the Undo Send that allows you to stop an outgoing email; ideal for sober accidents as well. And the Mail Googles requires you to do math problems on weekend nights before sending out a message.

For your phone, LG has created a cell phone with a built in breathalyzer where if your blood-alcohol level is over .08 you will be unable to call certain numbers on certain nights after certain times. Just program your LP4100 before a night out and you will be safe against contacting those go-to numbers.

The iPhone has recognized the problem of drunk dialing, and yes, there is an app for that.

The Designated Dialer app will let you block problem numbers before going out, and if you try to call them, you will get a friendly message reminding you that you shouldn’t be calling them. To unlock this app you have to perform a coordination test to prove your sobriety.

The Bad Decision Blocker does the same thing, but it will only unlock after the allotted time has passed. And don’t bother trying to delete the app in your drunken rage, it won’t let you.

The Don’t Dial app gives your friends drunk dialing power. It requires a friend to enter a pre-determined password into the phone in order to unlock it. Which works great until your friend totally agrees that you should call your boss and tell them exactly what you think of them.

If all of those apps fail, there is always the iDrunk Dialer app, that lets you contact a pre-approved list of people who it is okay to drunk dial.

So if you haven’t had too much green beer by now, check out these apps and save yourself from embarrassment and appearing on this list, or worse, this one.

Now if only they could come up with an app to prevent drunk Tweeting...

And for those currently drunk on Irish pride, this is for you:

Canadian Born Ruffians

2010-03-15T20:58:00.002-04:00

Canadian Music Week, featuring over 350 independent bands playing in 35 venues across the city, is officially over. This event helps prove Canada has an extremely talented independent music scene and gives it the exposure it deserves. After checking out a few shows, there was one band that stood for me.

Born Ruffians apply quick lyrics, unique vocals and tight riffs to an alternative pop-rock sound. Hailing from Midland, Ontario, this Canadian indie group is comprised of singer/guitarist Luke Lalonde, drummer Steve Hamelin, and Mitch DeRosier on bass.

(BTW, who thinks the flag pictured is from Queen's? Shout out!)

I checked them out last night at the Phoenix to cap off my music binging weekend. There has been a huge online buzz around this band over the past four year, featured frequently on CBC Radio 3 and earning the “most blogged about musical act” by Hype Machine. This online following was materialized as last night’s crowd filled the Phoenix, dancing and singing all the words.

The band lined up across the stage, giving a full visual to the audience and creating a sense of equality between the musicians. Their performance was tight, hitting their harmonies and clipping their synchronized chords. Lalonde’s voice was true to recorded talent, fluctuating expressively and ranging from low talking to high pitch yelling. DeRosier made sure to engage the audience, even sticking around after their set to shake hands and throw out all of his guitar picks. Hamelin was a surprise; never before have I seen a drummer so enthusiastic, adding vocals and occasional dancing-while-drumming moves.

They played their hit tracks from their 2008 LP, Red, Yellow & Blue, including “Hummingbird”, “I Need a Life” and my personal favourite, “Barnacle Goose” (“We’ve got plans! We’ve got plans to make plans!!”). The Born Ruffians also treated their captive audience to a few songs off their new album Say It, releasing June 1st.

Music to dance to, bounce to and play air guitar to; you need to check out the Born Ruffians. They and all the bands that performed this past week make me proud to be Canadian.

Check out some of their new and old stuff and be sure to catch them when they come back to T.O. to promote their new album.

(Picture from http://www.billions.com/photos/bornruffianspress.jpg)

How to Dress for a Concert

2010-03-12T18:51:00.002-05:00

In light of Canadian Music Week, continuing this weekend, today’s Fashion Friday post is looking at what to wear to a concert.

Before you concert junkies scoff and assert your hipster-status by claiming “Who cares! I just throw on whatever is on the floor”, don’t lie, we all know you care. It’s obvious the careful thought that goes into the sufficiently well worn Converse and the bands last tour T-shirt proving you knew about them before everyone else did.

As for those who admit to the concern of looking good while enjoying a live show, good concert-wear combines fashion with practicality. You want to look good but you want to be comfortable and safe too. Sure, your new open-toed BCBG stilettos are needing a debut, but after a night of standing, sweating, being stepped on, pushed, pulled, and landed on, your once fabulous outfit is ruined.

If you ladies are attending one of the incredible punk/rock/folk shows on this weekend or in the future, here is what I suggest:

Skinny jeans
Skirts should be an obvious mistake. You are at a serious risk of an up-skirt, not to mention the wandering hands of a stranger pressed up besides you. You also don’t want a lot of skin exposed; sweating and rubbing into randoms is much more uncomfortable when it is skin-to-skin. Leave that for the bedroom. You also don’t want baggy clothes that can be pulled from you and can soak up other peoples sweat. Skinny jeans look good, quickly alert you to potential groping, and keep the transfer of other peoples sweat and potential rips to a minimum.

Minimal jewellery
Long, dangling jewellery will fall off, or worse, pulled out. So leave your grandmothers ring and that necklace your boyfriend just bought you at home.

T-shirt
Long sleeves, or worse, a hoodie, are way too hot for a show. You will faint of dehydration before the headliners hit the stage. Boob tops are completely unacceptable. Don’t do it unless you are a groupie. (Look for those girls at the front, on the side closest to the bands door). Graphics and logos on the T’s should be representative of the scene, or better, reflect your style and interests. In a mass of everyone wearing the same style of clothes, what’s on your t-shirt sets you apart.

No purse
There are no room for purses at a show. Not only do they take up unnecessary room and weigh you down, but you are at a huge risk to have stuff stolen from it while you’re not looking. I put my car key, some bills and my ID in my sock (because again, shoes can fall off).

Sneakers
The most important part is to have comfy shoes. No heels, sandals, open toed, leather, suede; basically nothing that would be ruined or physically hurt you when stepped on. Laces are a good idea too, as after every show there is usually a random shoe left, so tie them tight!

Low ponytail
As a taller person, there is nothing more annoying than being at a show and having some shorter girl flick her high ponytail in my face. Long hair that is not tied back is disgusting because it ends up resting on someone’s shoulder or stray strands hanging off of their clothes. So please, for tall girls like me, tie it back and tie it low.

Depending on the venue, the music, the scene and your location within the crowd, your experience will differ; but these suggestions all apply.

And remember that you can be fashionable and enjoy live music; deluded, criticizing hipsters be damned.

(Pictures from http://www.cloggs.co.uk/content/ebiz/cloggs/invt/490/blackhi_m.jpg, http://headlessshirts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/august3rd09-collage1.jpg, http://frnxchge.blogspot.com/2008/01/cheap-monday-womens-skinny-jeans.html, and http://www.the-fed.org/media/volume22/issue0/carter_hipster.png)

Sexapalooza: The Other 60 Crayon Colours

2010-03-11T12:19:00.006-05:00

Last time I talked about buying sex accessories in the comfort of your home, this week I’m taking sex toys to a more public place.

Sexapalooza, on this weekend at the Careport Centre in Hamilton, is a sex convention.

Venders from all sexual markets, from bed sheets to anal beads, fill a convention hall to showcase their merchandise. There are workshops to learn about spanking and introducing kink into your sex life. There are demos and videos demonstrating the products (in a fully clothed way). There are stage shows featuring burlesque dancers and strippers (who keep their clothes on!).
All of this for the price of admission and leaving your inhibitions in the car.

First, let me dispel some of the assumptions you might have about a sex convention:

There are not people having sex littered throughout the hall

• They wait until they get home (or the car) to try out their newly purchased items.

The people there are not dirty, old men in trench coats or heroin addicts

• The consumers and vendors are everyday people just looking to expand on their sex life.

Not all of the vendors are selling double-sided dildos

• Some are selling romantic trips to the Caribbean or burlesque head pieces. There is even a booth for the incredible Adopt a Clitoris foundation.

People do not walk around naked

• Some in S&M leather or painted tops, but mostly everyone wears jeans and a t-shirt.

There are not protesters outside yelling “FOR SHAME!”

• Both inside and outside, people are friendly and chatty. In fact, I actually got my ticket for the Toronto show for free from a friendly couple leaving the convention.

The people who attend Sexapalloza, or its Fall counterpart The Everything to do with Sex Show, are everyday, fully functioning, sexually aware/curious/intelligent/open human beings. People of all races, genders, age (19+) and sexual orientation peruse the aisles looking for their niche accessory. Maybe it’s leather handcuffs with clips to hang from the ceiling; maybe it’s bodices and tights with that sexy line up the back; or maybe it’s just some good ol’ fashion lube.
The point is to supply the accessories for your sexual interests and expose you to markets that you may have not considered before.

Sexapalooza is another step towards positively normalizing and mainstreaming sex. It showcases the diverse, fun, safe and clean side of sex in a public venue. These conventions show you that there are so many options aside from missionary. A speaker at a workshop I attended said “Great sex is like when you’re a kid, only colouring with the four crayons they give you; then you find out there are 60 other colours!”

So whether you brave the convention scene or not, try to introduce the other colours into your bedroom. You’d be surprised to find out what you’re in to.

Who Should Have Performed at the Closing Ceremony

2010-03-03T21:03:00.004-05:00

With today's release of the Juno nominations, Canada's talented music scene was proudly recognized. Major accolades went to Bublé and Bieber; but artisits like Classified, Metric, the Arkells and Arcade Fire recieved deserving nominations as well. With such amazing Canadian talent, where were these bands at the Closing Ceremony?

Questions were raised early on over who would perform at the Closing Ceremony of the Olympics. Early bets had Neil Young, Alanis Morissette and Michael Bublé. (Thankfully) Celine Dion declined early on, so she was out of the running. But when the rumour that Nickelback was performing flooded the Twitterverse and Facebook, people started to get concerned. But no one expected the rest of the selection that hit the stage.

Nickelback, Avril Lavigne, Simple Plan, (all of whom played songs released over two years ago), as well as Hedley, Marie-Mai, and k-os left many Canadians disappointed. With so many great Canadian acts, audiences were expecting a different selection.

In the defence of the Olympic choices, the artists needed to fall under one of these categories:

They needed to be an internationally recognizable band so we could be awarded the “Huh, I didn’t know they were Canadian” remark. Much like the Shatner choice, these artists represent the claim to fame Canadians are sure mention. Sure they all live in the States now, but we had them first!! (BTW, did you know Jimmy Hendrix was born Vancouver?!)

They needed to represent a cross selection of provincial talent. West Coast to Quebec was covered. (To note there was no East Coast representation).

They needed to represent a wide variety of music genres. Thank goodness for k-os saving an otherwise pop-punk and rock show.

So who would I have picked? A little from column A, B and C:

The Legends
Gordon Lightfoot- After being killed and resurrected by Twitter, further proof of his pulse would be nice.

Rufus Wainwright- From Montreal, member of the talented Wainwright family, gay, current (releasing his next album March 23rd), not to mention hugely talented, Wainwright satisfies a lot of ideal requirements.

Leonard Cohen- Sure, the most covered song in the world, Hallelujah, was sung by k d Lang at the opening ceremony, but hearing it from the man himself would have been good.

The Staples
Our Lady Peace

Tragically Hip

Barenaked Ladies

Maybe it’s because I grew up on these bands, but I see this selection a necessary part of a Canadian music diet.

The Up-and-Comers
The Arcade Fire- How amazing would it be to have Wake Up be the last song played. Seriously, picture it, it would have been incredible.

Classified- I’m currently obsessed with this Nova Scotians song “Oh, Canada”. That song gets the patriotism flowing through my veins.

The Weakerthans- A band seen by many as the best Canadian poets of our generation deserves worldwide attention. They have a song about curling, for goodness sakes!

It is of note that Feist, Star, City and Colour, K’naan, Dan Mangan, Wilco, Broken Social Scene, Alexisonfire, and Bedouin Soundclash were among the bands that played at Cultural Olympiad shows throughout the week. But these shows were at much smaller venues, unpublicized, and reached a much smaller audience.

The bands chosen should have been representative and current Canadian talent. Not everyone would have been happy with the choices, but a better selection could have been made; like say, some of this years Juno nominees.

Pictures from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1254585/Winter-Olympics-2010-closing-ceremony-Michael-J-Fox-helps-mark-end-Games.html

Toronto Concert Listings: March

2010-03-01T20:42:00.002-05:00

Art of Time Ensemble: The Songbook with Steven Page, The Royal Conservatory, March 4, 8 pm, $19.50+

Alkaline Trio, The Phoenix Concert Theatre, March 6, 5:30 pm, $23.50

MUSE w/ Silversun Pickups, Air Canada Centre, March 8, 7 pm, $39.50

Canadian Music Fest, March 10-12, various locations and times

Cage the Elephant, The Phoenix Concert Theatre March 10, 7 pm, $16.50

Marianas Trench, Massey Hall, March 11, 9 pm, $29.50

Bedouin Soundclash, Mod Club Theatre, March 12, 7 pm, $26.25

ill Scarlett, Sound Academy, March 12, 7 pm, $33.75

Our Lady Peace, Massey Hall, March 12 and 13, 8 pm, $42.50

Joanna Newsom, The Phoenix Concert Theatre, March 13,6 pm, $22.50

Constantines and Great Lake Swimmers, The Fairmont Royal York, March 13, 7 pm, $36.75

Born Ruffians, The Phoenix Concert Theatre, March 14, 7 pm, $26.25

Dashboard Confessional, Kool Haus, March 18, 7pm, $33.50

The Big Pink, Mod Club Theatre, March 24, 8 pm, $23.12, +19

Manchester Orchestra, Mod Club Theatre, March 27, 5:45 pm, $18.50

Black Lips, Horseshoe Tavern, March 27 and 28, 9 pm, $15.50, 19+

Billy Talent w/ Alexisonfire and Against Me!, Air Canada Centre, March 28, 6:45 pm, $39.50+

Spoon, Sound Academy, March 29, 7:30 pm, $24.50

Vampire Weekend Contra Tour, Sound Academy, March 30, 8 pm, $27.50

The Temper Trap, Mod Club Theatre, March 30, 8 pm, 19+, $15.50

As always, for you hipsters, check out http://radio3.cbc.ca/#/gigs/ for more obscure listings.

Plus Size Publicity Stunt

2010-02-26T19:32:00.011-05:00

Yet again, Canadian fashion designer, Mark Fast, sent plus size models down the London runway. And again, Fast said that all women, no matter what size, can wear his designs. And again, Fast dressed his size 10 to 12 models in skin tight designs.

Using plus-size models is a very positive move; bringing attention to the unrealistic and unhealthy thin standard of fashion, and showing how big is beautiful. But to effectively communicate this, plus sized models should be dressed in a way that compliments both their body type and the designs. Dressing them in too-tight clothing does not do either.

Plus size model heavy-weight, Crystal Renn walked for Fast this season. At 5-foot-9, a 38C bra size, 30-inch waist and 42-inch hips, the former skinny model has found success in her larger size and is now a role model for all sizes of models.

Featured beautifully in Vogue, Harper's Bazaar and Elle, this is how other designers dressed Renn:

Harper's Bazaar http://www.harpersbazaar.com.au/assets/HB_080409_Curvy03.jpg

Elle http://ip.yoho.cn/9369894.jpg

Italian Vogue http://i.models.com/oftheminute/archives/images/crystal_italian_vogue_1.jpg

And this is how Fast did it:

http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/pH8HRQ-lySS/Mark+Fast+Runway+LFW+Autumn+Winter+2010/J__5ETwewZu/Crystal+Renn

Plus size models belong in the fashion world, as notably represented in this month’s issue of V magazine, but designers and stylists have to recognize that not all designs flatter a larger body type.

By dressing plus sized models in uncomplimentary designs it negatively displays the clothing, the model, and makes the designers choice seem more like a publicity stunt than an effective statement.

Fantasia Parties: A Tupperware Party, But With Dildos

2010-02-24T16:36:00.007-05:00

The wine was uncorked, the hor dourves were placed out and the cock cake was erect: the room of tittering 20-something girls were ready to buy some sex toys.

Fantasia parties exist for people of all sexual curiosities to learn, discuss and buy sex toys. From lotions to anal beads, these evenings showcase a wide variety of accessories to improve your sex life.

Mediated and educated by a Fantasia consultant, you and your best girlfriends get to touch, smell and taste products in the comfort and privacy of your own home. No matter your relationship status or preference, there is something for everyone.

Before the giggles, awkward shudders and story sharing began, I was able to talk to our bullet belted leader, Danielle Campos, about the Fantasia business.

Passionately Awkward- What is your most popular item?

Danielle- Definitely the Secret Garden Orgasm Cream. It heightens your clitoral sensitivity allowing you to achieve more intense and longer lasting orgasms. The Dolfinger does quite well too. Used with a bullet or as a penis ring; it is a multipurpose toy.

PA- What is the new, hot item this year?

D- The Dragon is a virility cream for Him had a lot of buzz this year. It's an oral sex gel that can also be used to stimulate the vagina during sex. Also, the Oriental Body Slide is a really exciting product. It’s basically a pool of Jell-O. You mix the two bottles together; pour it over the foil sheet; and you and your partner can float and play naked in it for hours. The Jell-O is safe for your body, eatable and has an aphrodisiac scent. It’s a lot of fun and just the right amount of messy.

PA- Are there any items that have won awards?

D- The Shunga pampering line is a Canadian company that has won an award for marketing and packaging. The packing uses 15th Century Japanese art that was commissioned to teach children about sex and health. It’s really quite beautiful; I have customers who buy the product just for the container. Compared to its competitor brands like Kama Sutra, Shunga comes in larger quantities and has a better flavour.

PA- What item is the most shocking to your workshops?

D- Definitely anal beads; I only bring those out if I know the audience can handle it.

PA- Do you find people are mostly looking for accessories for themselves or lovers?

D- Both. Sometimes the married women are selfish; they are only concerned with toys for themselves, disregarding their partner’s pleasure. But there are also those who come specifically looking for something for their partner.

PA- How do you suggest couples approach the topic of toys?

D- Chances are your partner is going to be into it. Your partner wants to pleasure you; if it’s going to take a little something extra, why not try it? Plus it’s a major turn on to see a woman own her sexuality.

PA- What is a good introductory item for those exploring the market?

D- The Dolfinger is good because you can use it with your partner or with yourself. Bullets are great too because they are discreet, compact and a good price point.

PA- In what ways does using accessories heighten the intimacy of a relationship?

D- It brings the spice back into a relationship. You can be creative, share your pleasure and explore each others desires.

PA- Why do you think Fantasia parties are so successful?

D- They cater to people who are too shy to buy sex accessories. As a consultant, I create a comfortable environment, easing my audience into the subject. Starting first with spa products and moving to more, and more racy items; it’s just like good foreplay!

Danielle has been with Fantasia for three and a half years, leading two to three parties a week. The nights range from 12 to 100 people; mostly women, but she sometimes does mixed parties as well.

To book your own Fantasia party with Danielle contact her at Danielle@fantasiafantasia.com or 905-785-1429. Check out her website at www.fantasiafantasia.com.

Thank you to our educator Danielle, Diana's boyfriend Chris for the cake, and our hosts Kim and Megan for an educational and stimulating night!!

Blind Pilot Changed the Way I See the World

2010-02-22T21:25:00.006-05:00

As a music junkie, ever so often I come across a band that changes the way I see the world. Blind Pilot is one of those bands.

Blind Pilot is an Indie Folk band from Portland, Oregon, whose minimalist and wistful sound is supported by their romantic indie roots and reflective lyrics. When listening to them I literally have to fight the urge to stop everything, drop to the ground and fully engross myself in their sound.

Blind Pilot has the beginnings of a perfect indie story. Initial members, singer-guitarist Israel Nebeker and drummer Ryan Dobrowski, spent their summer after college in Newquay, England; busking by playing acoustic guitar and a makeshift percussion kit made from a sketchpad and a pencil tin. Back in the States a few years later, they took up residence in an old cannery in a fishing town outside Astoria, Oregon (featured in the Go On, Say It music video). With the Pacific Ocean as their soundtrack, Blind Pilot recorded their freshman album, 3 Rounds and a Sound.

Deciding to tour in a less conventional method, they traveled the West Coast on bicycles, without a map or confirmed gigs; towing their instruments in custom made bicycle trailers. They made it from Vancouver to San Francisco, when their bikes were stolen and they had to return home. In 2008 Nebeker and Dobrowski tried again, bringing new members Kati Claborn, banjo and dulcimer player, and Luke Ydstie, upright bass player, along for the ride. They made it to San Diego that time. For their national tour they forwent the bicycles and brought vibraphone player Ian Krist with them.

After a 2009 European tour with the Counting Crows and The Hold Steady they returned to the U.S. to tour with The Decemberists, who are major players in the American Indie music scene. Their single Go On, Say It was made iTunes song of the week on August 8th, 2009. The song of same name as their debut album, 3 Rounds and a Sound, was featured on this past season of Californication, which is where I found the band.

Their poetic lyrics are accompanied by acoustic guitars, soft drums and droning instruments such as the violin or accordion. Musically, Blind Pilot uses the standard ABAB, or Verse Chorus Verse Chorus, writing form. Sometimes the band slows down their choruses to add a relaxing atmosphere and contrast the driving verse. Most of Blind Pilot's songs are sorrowful and the lyrics tend to reflect this atmosphere. My favourite lyric is “I was awkward and I could not hear/Your body through my body's fear.” Simple and pure; conveying emotion through catchy hooks and sincere statements.

Their sound has been compared to bands such as Iron and Wine, Death Cab for Cutie, The Shins and Bright Eyes; all of whom I highly recommend. Their gentle songs have a simple quality that captivates listeners. Your life may not be changed by this Indie Folk group, but I guarantee you will enjoy them.

Photos and information from http://www.myspace.com/blindpilot and http://blindpilotmusic.wordpress.com/

Jersey Shore is Ruining Fashion Week

2010-02-08T20:26:00.001-05:00

The only reason I have been stomaching my disgust for the latest MTV creation, Jersey Shore, is because I thought everyone saw the show as a joke. A pop culture phenomenon, bringing us together in laughter and disbelief. We watch these conceited, over-sexed, under-educated and over-made characters speak in a foreign tongue and call it entertainment. Because that’s what they are, right? Entertainment for reasonable human beings to point and shake our heads at.

I was fine with this. I was even fine when JWoww decided she was a fashion designer and wanted girls to have the “sex and sophistication" she does. The world needs bar stars, so what’s one more producer of poorly made, ill-covering tops.

But like JWoww’s clothes, the joke began to wear thin this past week. Apparently the cast of Jersey Shore is attending this week's New York Fashion Week.

One of the most exclusive events of the fashion season, attended by fashion’s elite and celebrity A list, is being attended by these tanned blow up dolls!?!?!

Apparently these flavours of the week have been approached by at least three designers to attend their shows. In fact, JWoww and Sammi are rumoured to be walking a few runways.

From a PR perspective, I get it. Bring these train wrecks to your show, have them stumble down the runway, and your show gets coverage. But from a fashion perspective, this move takes attention away from the designers and hurts the reputation of an otherwise glamorous event.

The line of humour is becoming blurred. In striving for entertainment, these MTV creations are getting more coverage than they deserve and less aware people are beginning to buy into the trash.

Anyone who thinks Ed Hardy is a legitimate fashion designer does not belong at New York Fashion Week. Keep Jersey out!

(Picture from http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/the-jersey-shore-cast_380x527.jpg)

Pleasure On the Go: The Legality of Road Head

2010-02-02T22:10:00.008-05:00

Monday morning saw the official enforcement of the distracted-driving laws in Ontario. Now answering the phone, texting, and the use of GPS and Mp3 players, while driving, is a finable offense.

These $155 tickets got me thinking about other distracted driving activities and the legality of them. Since it’s Passionately Awkward’s sex post of the week, I am of course talking about “road head”.

“Road head”, or oral sex while driving, is a dangerous but potentially exciting act. The risk of getting caught, the challenge of staying focused, the adrenaline of orgasming at 120 miles an hour, a good song on the radio, or the boredom of a long drive can all inspire a b.j. break.

But now Ontario police are on the lookout for distracted drivers, looking for “diverted gazes, fiddling hands, and arms raised above the steering wheel”, as well as “wobbly driving”; making “road head” at higher risk for getting caught.

What happens if you do get caught? Well, you can be charged for disorderly conduct, resulting in a misdemeanour charge and a fine of a couple hundred dollars. Or you could be charged with public lewdness/public indecency, facing arrest, a large fine and a lengthy probation.

So is it worth it? Maybe not anymore, but for those insistent on pleasuring their lover in transit, please try to:

1) Stay focused
2) Come quickly (the only time I will ever suggest that)
3) Pull into the right lane

(Picture from http://jezebel.com/5009772/the-legality-of-road-head-or-13-states-in-which-weve-broken-the-law-by-giving-a-beej)

Toronto Concert Listings: February

2010-02-01T19:08:00.005-05:00

For all your live music needs, check out some of the known and unknown bands playing in Toronto this month.

Tuesday, February 2nd

We the Kings, Air Canada Centre, 6:30 pm, $20

Thursday, February 4th

Cheap Trick, Massey Hall, 7 pm, 19+, $39.50

Friday, February 5th

Martha and the Muffins, The Music Gallery, 7 pm, $30

Saturday, February 6th

Great Lake Swimmers Trinity- St. Paul’s Centre, 7 pm, $22.50

Movado & Band Unplugged, Glenn Gould Studio - CBC Building, 10:30, 19+, $60

Monday, February 8th

Magnetic Fields, Queen Elizabeth Theatre, 7:30 pm, $30.50

Tuesday, February 9th

Laura Marling, The Mod Club, 8 pm, 19+, $13.50

Wednesday, February 10th

Scary Kids Scaring Kids, El Mocambo, 7 pm, $16.50

Friday, February 12th

Planet Smashers, The Opera House, 7:30 pm, $17.50

Saturday, February 13th

Attack in Black, The Horseshow Tavern, 9 pm, 19+, $10.50

The Residents, Air Canada Centre, 8 pm, 19+, $29.50

Sunday, February 14th

John Mayer with Micheal Franti and Spearhead, El Mocambo, 8 pm, $49.50+

Monday, February 15th

Mumford and Sons, Lee's Palace, 8 pm, 19+, $12

Tuesday, February 16th

Editors, The Phoneix Concert Theatre, 8 pm, 19+, $25

Mumford and Sons, Lee's Palace, 8 pm, 19+, $12

Thornley, Mod Club, 8 pm, 19+, $27.50

Wednesday, February 17th

Thornley, Mod Club, 8 pm, 19+, $27.50

Thursday, February 18th

Tortoise, Air Canada Centre, 8:30 pm, 19+, $18.50

Sunday, February 21st

Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck, Horseshoe Tavern, 7:30 pm, 69.30+

The Queers, The Mod Club, 8 pm, 19+, $13.50

El Perro del Mar, Wrongbar, 8 pm, 19+, $15

Monday, February 22nd

Leatherface, Horseshoe Tavern, 8 pm, $20

Wild Beasts, Glenn Gould Studio - CBC Building, 8:30 pm, 19+, $15

Thursday, February 25th

C.R. Avery, Glenn Gould Studio - CBC Building, 8 pm, $29.50

Friday, February 26th

Rogue Wave, Mod Club Theatre, 7 pm, $15, 19+

Jack’s Mannequin, Sound Academy, 7 pm, $29.50

Laila Biali, Glenn Gould Studio, 8 pm, $29.50

Sunday, February 28th

New Found Glory, Sound Academy, 6 pm, $27.50

For over 80 other concerts of even lesser known bands, take your hipster self to http://radio3.cbc.ca/#/bands/

See you in the mosh pit.

Paris Couture, So Haute Right Now

2010-01-29T09:43:00.007-05:00

Paris Haute Couture Week is the most beautiful times of year in fashion. The designs shown this past week for Spring/Summer 2010 were no exception. The hand crafted designs feature flawless detailing and range between £30,000 to £300,000. Haute Couture is exclusive and expensive, purchased by the elite, fawned over by the masses. Even if you don’t recognize the importance of fashion, anyone can recognize the artistic beauty of these avant-garde designs.

Showcasing the remaining designers of what is argued to be a dying art, three design houses stood out for me this week.

Dior

Inspired by the 1930’s and ‘40’s American socialite, John Galliano depicted a lifestyle of leisure. Equestrian looks complete with four-foot whips and top hats, and evening gowns with cinched waists and long, elegant gloves. The models featured pale complexions and windblown bouffant (set by curling hair around balloons). Galliano paid tribute to the beauty of high society in an economy and culture that has forgotten it.

Chanel

Chanel surprised audiences when their classic black dress and tweed suits were noticeably absent from their runway. Described by Karl Lagerfeld as “neon baroque”, the collection featured an acid-and-silver palate. Lagerfeld was quick to denounce ideas that the collection was futuristic, saying, "I don't believe in avant-garde clothes for a future that will never happen. Fashion is always now." Accessorized with Minnie-mouse hair and ankle boots, the models appeared young and ethereal. The bride and groom finale featured designs that were painstakingly detailed. The bride’s cape took 200 hours to make, with another 350 hours to embroider the sequin, pearls and crystals on the back of the dress. Expect nothing less from the Kaiser.

Thimster

Joseph Thimster took Jean Paul Gaultier’s bloody boxing ring to a more sophisticated level, basing his collection on “war, sorrow, and destruction”. Featuring blood soaked reds, war dirt browns, worn army greens and soiled ivories. The thin, rosy cheeked models were fashion warriors, stomping the runway battlefield.

The other designers featured this week include:
Valentino
Jean Paul Gaultier
Elie Saab
Stéphane Rolland
Armani
Riccardo Tisci for Givenchy
Christophe Josse
Alexis Mabille
Anne Valérie Hash

Check out UK's Telegraph and Coutorture for more details and pictures.

For your own runway experience, check out Calvin Harris' Colors, featured during New York Fashion Week F/W 2009 for the Generra show.

(Photos from http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/26/fashion/26iht-rdior.html and http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/paris-haute-couture-week/)

Bringing the Dirty Mistress Back

2010-01-27T19:33:00.007-05:00

The Globe and Mail recently ran an article uncovering the truth about dirty mistresses. Apparently they are not as dirty as we once thought; rather needy, hard-done-by women who are feeling so neglected by their men that they are forming support groups.

This contradicts the popular culture view of the femme fatale, sexy and ruthless, and lowers the role to one of victimization.

For those with little regard for their partners partners and able to be emotionally detached, being a mistress can be a lot of fun. You get to have your physical and materialistic needs covered without having the fights over dirty dishes and unpaid bills. You get to have A LOT OF SEX. All the time, multiple times a day. You get to be flown in for hotel romps and nice dinners. Spoiled and shopped for. And in 48 hours, you leave, return to your life until the next scheduled rendezvous.

Obviously, being a mistress is a shitty thing to do to someone, but for those who are going to do it, (and there are a lot of people who will), here are a few things to keep in mind before you start complaining:

Be high maintenance materially, not emotionally

Being the other woman is a position of luxury. You get lingerie and jewelery in exchange for a lack of commitment and “I love you’s”; a fair trade off if you accept the emotional limitations from the beginning.

Enjoy the sex

You get to have the wild, crazy sex that they no longer want, or never wanted in the first place, from their partner. People aren’t looking outside their relationship for boring sex; they are looking for something new and exciting that you get to benefit from.

Understand that you are a complementary role, not a primary.

Forget about Christmas, he’s spending it with the gf, not you. You will often be ditched last minute, spend Valentines alone, and always come second.

He will never leave his wife. Ever.

Don’t kid yourself. IT NEVER ACTUALLY HAPPENS.

I hate to say it, but Ashey-Madison.com co-founder, Noel Binderman, might have it right. He suggests that “today’s mistress must be empathetic, sexually uninhibited, available and reasonable... the mistress has to know that this is a temporary arrangement.”

So exploit it and enjoy it while it lasts. Leave the support groups to the wives you are fucking over.

And as this is Passionately Awkward, here's some music to drive the point home:

(Picture from http://www.house-mixes.com/artists/Dirty_Mistress/)

Top Five Songs to Have a One-Night Stand to

2010-01-25T20:06:00.007-05:00

Sometimes a one-night stand can be exactly what you need. A night of grasping at sheets with a stranger can lead to perfect non-committal satisfaction.

Ideally, you enjoy a few romps throughout the night, once or twice in the morning, followed a brief goodbye, and off they go on their “walk-of-shame” home or to wherever they came from.

The problem is that this pleasant morning exchange rarely happens. It’s usually pretty awkward. Asking them if they want your number; watch as they fumble for a pen; being added to Facebook days later. It’s never as smooth and as casual as you wish it was.

There are a few ways around the awkward confusion of “does she want to date now?” or “should I give him a fake number?”. You could cruelly kick them out in the morning; use a Barney Stinson line; or even directly admit your intentions from the start.

But for those more musically inclined (and hey, it is Music Monday after all), there is the approach of communicating your disinterest in a relationship beyond the bedroom with a suggestive soundtrack. I give you the top five songs to have a one-night stand to:

Lover I Don't Want To Love- Bright Eyes

You didn't care to know/Who else may have been you before.

Drunk Girl- Something Corporate

I'm sure when all is said and done/And I go home feeling lonely/You will have had your fun/Do you even remember?

Wow, I Can Be Sexual Too- Say Anything

I called her on the phone and she touched herself./I laughed myself to sleep.

One Night Stand- The Pipettes

I don't love you/If you think that this is cruel,/Then you should see what my friends do

Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades- Brand New

She hits the lights./This doesn't seem quite fair./Despite everything he learned from his friends,/he doesn't feel so prepared./She's breathing quiet and smooth. / He's gasping for air.

In all likelihood, they probably won’t get it. If that is the case, please do not yell “didn’t you hear the song?!” while waving your iPod in the air. And in fact, if they do get it, that music aficionado might be worth sticking around for. At the very least, these songs can provide a soundtrack with a good rhythm, which is what we’re looking for in a one-night stand anyways.

(Photo from http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/asksam/onenight_stand.jpg)

Luxury Goes Mobile

2010-01-22T15:41:00.004-05:00

High-end fashion house, Versace, created buzz over their brand this week after announcing the May launch of their latest design: a cell phone.

This is not the first time Versace has done this. Along with design houses like Prada, Armani and Dolce & Gabbana, these high-end labels have each previously designed their own cell phones. But these older phones cost well under $1000 and the new Versace cell phone is selling for over $5000.

http://www.oltiby.com/img/selling/17720-Versace_Gold_Front.jpg
(The older version of the Versace phone)

This move is solidifying the trend of luxury cell phones, which is being compared to the consumer desirability for high-end watches. Versace is potentially setting a new standard and price point for this growing trend.

This is important because it signals a significant marketing move for the fashion industry. By branding cell phones, this opens up the market of technology for fashion designers to capitalize on. This could potentially lead to designer computers, t.v.'s, speakers, etc. The possibilities are insurmountable and will help dictate a modern standard in luxury.

How to Date Your Fantasy

2010-01-20T20:13:00.002-05:00

Whether it’s a weakness for naughty nurses, a curiosity of wild librarians, or the tempting lure of a musician, we all have sexual stereotypes that rub us the right way.

But what happens when these stereotypes are actualized? When role playing becomes the real thing, can you carry your passion past the bedroom and into a relationship?

Finding that inexplicably attractive stereotype can cause you to consider something more monogamous. But the expectations that you are presuming are set in way that role playing can fake, but the real thing will inevitably fail at.

Guilty of both feeding and feeding upon sexual stereotypes, I’ve been faced with the disappointment of not living up to the roles I or my partner was presumed to play. A past partner of mine once admitted his disappointment by saying,

“I signed up for a cheerleader, and you’re not her.”

I guess the expectation was that I would always wear short skirts and be overly enthusiastic; and although I enjoyed the uniform, I also liked skull t-shirts.

The fact is that no one is completely a stereotype. There are many other sides of a partner that includes them not wearing a rugby jersey to bed.

So if you want the uniform, you have to accept that your partner will not always be in it. Limiting your partner to a set persona will lead to your disappointment, your partner’s resentment and ultimately the demise of your relationship. By accepting that your gymnast g.f. will not always be bending over backwards will make the times that she does that much more satisfying.

Top Songs of 2009 to be Passionately Awkward About: The Final 15

2010-01-18T21:07:00.007-05:00

The final dose of Passionately Awkward's top songs of '09.

1. Dear God (Sincerly M.O.F.)- Monsters of Folk

2. No Children- The Mountain Goats

3. I Will Sing You Songs- My Morning Jacket

4. Give a Little Love- Noah and the Whale

5. Obsessed With You- The Orion Experience

6. In the morning before work- Owen

7. 1901- Phoenix

8. January- Ravens and Chimes

9. Go Ahead- Rilo Kiley

10. Now You Know- The Ruling Party (can't find it online, but I highly recommend it!)

11. Don’t Haunt This Place- The Rural Alberta Advantage

12. Crown of Love- This is Ivy League

13. (If you’re wondering if I want you to) I want you
too- Weezer

14. California On My Mind- Wild Light

15. My Favourite Chords-The Weakerthans

There are so many more amazing songs, but these were on constant repeat for me over the past year. Hope you found something you can become equally obsessed with!

Top Songs of 2009 to be Passionately Awkward About: Part Two

2010-01-14T18:09:00.007-05:00

Here is the next set of 15 songs that I have been obsessed with this past year.

(NOTE: Again, not all of these songs were released in 2009; I just found them during the year and loved them intensely in the months that followed.)

1. I’m not calling you a liar- Florence and the Machine

2. Wheels- Foo Fighters

3. Keep Yourself Warm- Frightened Rabbit

4. Have I Been a Fool?- Jack Penate

5. Your Rocky Spine- Great Lake Swimmers

6. You Make My Dreams- Hall & Oats

7. I like you so much better when you’re naked- Ida Maria

8. Swim- Jack’s Mannequin (couldn't link to Swim, so linked to their cover of MGMT's 'Kids')

9. Goin’ to Acapulco- Jim James & Calexico

10. Wrecking- Laura Veirs (couldn't link to Wrecking, so linked to her song 'Black Gold Blues')

11. Death to Los Campesinos!- Los Campesinos!

12. Take a Chance- The Magic Numbers

13. Yea Yeah- Matt and Kim

14. Masterpiece Theatre III- Mariana’s Trench (linked out to Masterpiece Theatre I, but check out III!)

15. Animal- Miike Snow

Happy listening! The final 15 will be posted next week!

Top songs of 2009 to be Passionately Awkward about

2010-01-04T18:07:00.005-05:00

Here are the first 15 kind of indie, kind of folky, kind of emo, definitely beautiful songs that I obsessively listened to in 2009:

(NOTE: Not all of these songs were released in 2009; I just found them during the year and loved them intensely in the months that followed.)

1. Borne on the FM Waves of the Heart- Against Me! (I couldn't find the original, the link is to a Ben Lee Cover)

2. Epilogue Heart- The Antlers

3. November- Azure Ray

4. Fearful- Beat Radio

5. 3 Rounds and a Sound- Blind Pilot

6. Skinny Love- Bon Iver

7. What I’m Looking For- Brendan Benson

8. Wake Up- The Arcade Fire

9. She Loves Everybody- Chester French

10. Something is Not Right With Me- Cold War Kids

11. Even Now- Dashboard Confessional

12. My Body’s a Zombie For You- Dead Man’s Bones

13. Home- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

14. While You Were Sleeping- Elvis Perkins

15. If I Ever Leave This World Alive- Flogging Molly

The beginning of the best; check back next music Monday for the next set.

Celebrating Iconic Fashion Photography

2009-12-10T13:52:00.005-05:00

Passionatly Awkward has a guest blogger this week! Check out the brilliance of MISS STEPHANIE below...

My love of fine art often intertwines with my love of fashion, and I’m not the only one. The two worlds have engaged in mutual admiration and inspiration throughout their respective histories. I was recently reminded of their ongoing relationship when I discovered that Horst P. Horst's print "Mainbocher Corset, 1939," is going up for auction at Christie's next week.

Equally beloved by art and fashion fans, it was originally featured in Vogue. The black-and-white portrait depicts a female sitter, shot from behind in an undone corset. Sensual and erotically charged, her face is hidden, with the focus on the sitter’s bare back. But refreshingly, the model is no waif; the delicate cascading ribbons of the corset are contrasted by her strong muscular back.

Now considered a modern classic, the photograph went on to inspire fashion heavyweights Donna Karan and Jean Paul Gaulthier. Gaulthier specifically referenced the piece when designing Madonna’s Blond Ambition tour wardrobe. The singer’s physical and emotional strength, coupled with the structure of Gaulthier’s cone bra and corset, was a fitting tribute to Horst’s iconic photo. With all that history, it’s no wonder the print is expected to sell for $7,000 - $9,000 US.

Thanks to Julie Mac for featuring a guest post on Passionately Awkward! Please visit MISS STEPHANIE for more visual inspiration in art, photography, design and fashion.

Top five songs to soundtrack your lover's quarrel to

2009-12-01T20:35:00.008-05:00

Somewhere in between the I hate you's and the I love you's, you have the best part of the fight. Before you kiss and makeup, make sure to enjoy yourself to these tunes.

"Kiss with a fist"- Florence and the Machine

You hit me once/ I hit you back /You gave a kick/I gave a slap/You smashed a plate/ Over my head/ Then I set fire to our bed

Turned on to this by a guy I was dating, he said the song reminded him of me. His damaged apartment can attest to that.

"Closer"- Nine Inch Nails

I want to fuck you like an animal/ I want to feel you from the inside

Closer is the Marvin Gaye “Let’s Get It On” of rough sex. I challenge you to find a hotter, more aggressive song that you haven’t already had sex to.

"Please, Please, Please"- Head Automatica

If you scream louder than fiction/And you get down on your knees/ And tear open your heart/ So I can love you and your disease

Pretty sure this song is actually about religion, but on the surface level it is violent and hot.

"Luv Addict"- Family Force Five

(Hey!) Can't kick the habit/ (Yeah!) I got to have it/ (Yeah!) I'm what they call a love addict

This is more of a masochistic song, but it works within this list.

"Tear You Apart"- She Wants Revenge

I want to hold you close/ Soft breath, beating heart/ As I whisper in your ear/ I want to fucking tear you apart

I lose it over this song. The lyrics, the beat, the hook; everything about this song is violently hot. But what really put it over the edge for me was its feature in The Number 23.

So have fun, be safe and remember that sex is better with a soundtrack!

Love is... screaming in pain?

2009-11-30T17:09:00.004-05:00

Alright, I admit it, I like Twilight. Featuring impossibly hot characters with distinct style, brooding to a solid soundtrack, this is an ideal movie for someone like me. I can get over the thinly veiled conservative, religious subtext in favour of the aesthetic and sensory experience; but there is one part of the flick that I am having trouble accepting.

Surprisingly it’s not the whole vampire and werewolf thing; the ‘fly to Rome at a moment’s notice on a small town student budget’; it’s not even the impossible ability for the characters to not have sex with each other all the time. Rather it’s the way Bella deals with Edward leaving.

So Edward peaces out in a scene similar to Old Yeller, leaving Bella in extreme emotional stress. Fast-forward through the seasons and her inability to leave a chair or apparently change her clothes, and we find Bella having what appears to be night terrors.

She repeatedly wakes up throughout the night screaming in pain. Described as having a “hole” inside of her; Bella wakes up screaming like she has just been shot. Her dad runs into her room to offer support, but nothing can sooth her immense pain. She ditches her friends in favour of a solitary and reckless life. The relationship she builds with Jacob is a result of needing a male replacement to “fill the hole”. Her dad at one point even suggests her moving to her mother’s since the way she is dealing with the break-up is “not normal”.

Now Twi-hards everywhere are watching this and thinking, “That’s what love is”. An impossibly difficult, nonsensical depression that is so dramatic that you should literally be screaming in pain. Impressionable Tweens will now be using this description as a standard for a broken heart. You didn’t really love him if you don’t go through a three month depression, only to be pulled out of it by another man.

Don’t think girls are that crazy? They are. I remember growing up to Dawson’s Creek and thinking how my relationship was so perfect because my boyfriend and I had the same first letters in our names as Dawson and Joey. Growing up, many of my friends would watch this show or others like it and see it as the standard for relationships. At one point, I even created conflict in the rain in order to have that passionate, wet kiss so romantically portrayed on television. Seriously, girls are fucked.

My point is that it is irresponsible for something so extreme to be depicted, particularly based on Twlight’s loyal, impressionable and broad fan base.

So girls 13-17, SCREAMING IN PAIN DOESN’T MEAN YOU ARE ANY MORE IN LOVE! Cry it out, call your girlfriends, stay in the same sweatpants for maybe three days, but pull yourself out of it! Yes, the love you are experiencing is real and powerful, but you can move past it. No one dies from a broken heart; so breathe, don’t scream, because it will be okay.

Lady Gaga: Everything Passionately Awkward Loves

2009-11-28T12:23:00.005-05:00

http://www.autostraddle.com/reviewing-lady-gagas-fame-monster-track-by-track-21116/

Lady Gaga is an innovator and an icon in the world of music, sex and fashion. With her eccentric style continuing to dominate the air waves and runways, Gaga is someone worthy of a blog post.

The November release of her second studio album, Fame Monster, is proving Gaga is not a one-hit-wonder. “Bad Romance” has already broken the charts and has been featured on Gossip Girl and So You Think You Can Dance. Her intoxicating synth-pop gives you something to dance to while providing pre-choreographed moves and memorable (sometimes Emo) lyrics. (I predict the claw of “Bad Romance” to become the new eye covering of “Poker Face”.)

Gaga, a major supporter of the gay community and a self-declared bi-sexual, brings sex into all she does. Her clothing and music reflects her open and experimental perspective. Gaga is penalized for her overt sexuality, causing critics to create rumours, like her being a hermaphrodite, (which I strongly believe it NOT TRUE). Gaga is a strong, self-aware woman, and a spokesperson for liberating sexuality.

Gaga has acted as muse and model for designers and magazines worldwide. Gracing the covers of countless magazines, most recently November Flare, Gaga’s true fashion power is proven with her soon-to-be-seen feature in December Vogue. Working with Alexander McQueen, Gaga performed at the McQueen SS2010 runway show and features his designs in her new video for “Bad Romance”.

Gaga is an unstoppable and inescapable force. She is someone to watch in 2010 as she continues to inspire and dictate fashion and music.

Techmo and Emance

2009-11-19T17:31:00.004-05:00

Synthesized music has cast a shadow over pop music with the likes of Lady Gaga and Britney Spears; encompassed rap and R&B through Kanye West and T-Pain; and is now making a very noticeable move to Emo.

Synthesized Emo music, or Techmo, gained underground popularity through Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard’s side project, The Postal Service. The genre stays true to the romantic lyrical style of Emo, but provides a catchier sound through a repetitious rhythm. By increasing the beat of the song, it gains more of a dance sound, turning it into Emance. By watering down the various styles, these songs become appealing to both fans of Emo music and the mainstream.

With this style change, Emo music has gained music chart presence. On Much Music’s Countdown, three Techmo and Emance songs have made the top ten this week: Owl City’s “Fireflies” (10), Stereos “Throw Your Hands Up” (5), and Faber Drive’s “G-Get up and Dance” (1).

“Fireflies” slow, fantastical beat and pining lyrics makes it pure Techmo. Reminiscent of the The Postal Service, I actually thought it was Gibbard when I first heard this. Faber Drive’s first major hit, “Tongue Tied” back in 2007, was Emo pop similar to Mariana’s Trench. But with “G- Get Up and Dance”, Faber Drive is an Emance song. The Stereos are innovating the genre further by incorporating an R&B flavour. The Emance song uses lyrics typical of an R&B or rap song (ex. It started up front and then we move back/Shorty got style and shorty got class), while still having an Emance sound.

The problem with this genre, like with other synthesized and dance songs, is that we quickly tire of the catchy choruses that made us like them in the first place. Also, the Emo songs that do make it to the mainstream typically become one-hit-wonders (ex. Hey There Delilah- Plain White T’s). So combined, how long will this genre last on the charts or within the scene? Personally, give me back acoustic guitar, I’m already over it.

Life is short. Have an affair.

2009-11-15T19:21:00.000-05:00

Apparently AshleyMadison.com is a well known site, but I first learned about it last Friday from The Globe and Mail. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the site, it is an online dating agency for married people to meet other people to have affairs with. Quoted as the “world’s premier discreet dating service” the website boasts 4,750,00 members all looking to cheat on partners or play the role of the dirty mistress. 70% of the clientele is male and the satisfaction rate seems to be pretty high based on the reviews and “100% Affair Guarantee”.

Okay, so I get it, somewhat. Marriage is a long road of infrequent sex, and I can conceive of the inclination to look outside your marriage for fulfillment. So my main problem with this website is not the moral stupidity of its clients, but their general stupidity.

First of all, this website is NOT COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. The person I first talked to about this site said that “people are calling into radio shows like Howard Stern and saying ‘I hooked up with this broad Jenny Smith last night from AshleyMadison and she was awesome!’ so what’s the point?” What’s the point indeed; seems pretty public to me. This is not some secret society that you get keys to; this is an online website that, like anything else online, is easily traced. So get real.

My main problem with this site is that the people using it are actually claiming that they’ve meet someone and fallen in love! My personal favorite is

This is just a wee note to thank Ashley Madison for my up and coming marriage (the end of this month) to the man of my dreams that I met off of Ashley Madison... It does really work, LOL! Thanks!

Kimberley...........

Alright Kimmy, let’s put this in perspective. YOU MEET YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND ON A WEBSITE FOR CHEATORS!!!! How long do you think your fruitful, loving relationship will last before he turns to his lap top again? Ridiculous.

Your 20’s are for fucking around, so get it out of your system now, because in my opinion, once that ring is on that is your person for life. Easy to use website or not.

I read VOGUE for the ads

2009-11-15T15:49:00.000-05:00

Every month, when the long waited American VOGUE arrives at my door, I immediately flip to the best part: the first 100 pages. Advertisements from the elite to the some-what accessible designers. When people say they read Playboy for the articles, I read Vogue for the advertisements. Beautiful models, creative set design, interesting art direction, straight from the runway looks; combined it is art.

As I scan this month’s issue there are some exceptional ads and some not-so-exceptional. Keeping in mind that I have no advertising background or photography skills, here is my opinion on the ads that stand out to me.

Givenchy: TERRIFYING!!! This campaign is incredibly startling and generally upsetting. Don’t get me wrong, I love zombies. But I would never stop fleeing for my life to ask where they got their shoes. Just creepy.

Mulberry: I love this campaign. It’s wild and fantastical. Running through a dead forest, bare legged and in stilettos, all while looking fabulous is a challenging task. These girls do it while showcasing the clothing and accessories beautifully.

Alberta Ferretti: Break out your wind machine and T.S. Eliot, it’s time for an exhausted and elegant photo shoot. This is how my entire undergrad looked like, except more K.D. and less couture.

Juicy Couture: As their campaign suggests, ‘make a mess’, Juicy Couture does by throwing together a random assortment of objects and models. I liked this the first time I saw it, but the more I look at it the more critical I get. It’s too chaotic, I don’t know where to look, it’s too messy.

Dolce & Gabbanna: I don’t know how I feel about this one. Usually, D&G ads are sexualized pictures of ripped men and exhausted women. This ad is putting women in a powerful and aggressive position, but there is something about those jackets and the animalizing of the girl on the left that I don’t care for. I respond differently every time I see this ad.

Now to Playboy to read the articles...

Eleven ways to find good music

2009-11-09T19:49:00.000-05:00

There is so much good music out there that’s not on the top 40, and as a self admitted music snob, I pride myself on the art of finding it. But it’s time to stop being so selfish and share my talented ways of finding the music that you haven’t heard of but should know.

1) Check out more than the one hit: One hit wonders usually have some pretty good stuff that will never get the air time it deserves. Find a wicked song? Download/buy everything by that artist. The Arcade Fire got some mainstream acclaim with Neon Bible and against with ‘Wake Up’ featured on the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack. But everything from this band is good.

2) Side Projects: Always check out an artist’s side project. They’re usually consistent in lyrical style and voice, but may be a slight change in genre. Death Cab for Cutie’s Benjamin Gibbard has an amazing side project Postal Service (check out ‘From Such Great Heights’). Lyrical genius and poet John K. Samson of the Weakerthans just released his debut solo album, and it’s definitely something to check out. And of course Dallas Green’s Alexisonfire very Emo side project City and Colour.

3) Inquire on the background noise: In clubs, bars, stores, coffee shops, etc. If there is music playing, the staff usually know who it is or can find someone that does. Some of my favourite bands, I found from the music at my work: Dragonette, Family Force Five, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Vampire Weekend, etc.

4) Find random CD’s: I love going through the CD’s my brother’s friends leave in the car. They are filled with new tunes or old songs I forgot about. I discovered this wicked remix of the Stars ‘Your Ex-Lover is Dead’ by flipping through a mix CD. So pull out your old CD’s because you never know what you might have forgotten.

5) Check out the opening band: If you’re going to a concert, the opening band is typically in the same genre as the band you are going to see. Make sure to get there in time to check them out too! I found Augustana after hearing them open for Dashboard Confessional two years ago. Same with the Constantine’s who opened for Broken Social Scene a few years back.

6) Pay attention to soundtracks: Television and commercials have given huge mainstream breaks to bands like The Phoenix, Paramore, Little Boots, The Gossip and Bat for Lashes. And the Ting Tings! They were unheard of before the ipod commercials, which lead them to do all the music for the MTV awards last year. For those that loved the bands before they were on the O.C., our love may fade with the band ‘selling out’, but it does provide the satisfaction that you were tapped into something before it became cool.

7) Make a mix tape: My favourite present ever is mix tapes. Channel your own High Fidelity and trade a mix with your friend. It’s a great way to get a taste of what they’re into as well as discover some new tunes. Some great personal trades include The Fratellis, Bloc Party, Rise Against, and TV on the Radio.

8) Download multiple songs by the same name: Trying to find Bob Dylan’s ‘In the Garden’ I stumbled upon Mirah’s song of the same name, (which is terrific, by the way). I somehow found Head Automatica’s ‘Please, Please, Please’ on one of these searches.

9) Go online: There is so many amazing streaming audio websites specialized to the genre of your choice. CBC Radio 3 is incredible for this. Websites like ilike allow you to input the bands you like and will connect you with bands that you might like as a result (as well as show you concert listings and other great features). FreeIndie.com hooked me up with Beat Radio, Beirut, Cloud Cult, Semi-Precious Weapons, Brendan Benson, Jack Penate, and on and on.

10) Make friends with musicians: People who play music, know music. Not only is their music a great find, but these people spend are incredibly passionate about their scene and will love to hook you up with the best of the best. I once had a guy upload the entire The Weakerthan’s discography on my computer because we just had to listen to it right way. Four months later, I was studying them in a university English literature class as John K. Samson ‘is the best poet of our generation’. I’ve learned about Citizen Cope, Mr. Bidet, Wilco, MGMT, etc.

11) Set up Google alert: Currently I have a Google alert set up for ‘Emo music’ and ‘indie music’ and every day I get hooked up with two dozen reviews, reports, blogs, concert listings, etc that so much as mentions those words. Currently I’m making my way through Florence and the Machine, The Mountain Goats and Manchester Orchestra thanks to this method.

So there you have it. Now set aside a couple of hours a night to find your music and multiple hours a day to listen to it, and please send me any good bands you come across!

How to look, smell and feel better naked.

2009-11-06T17:55:00.000-05:00

We all take careful consideration when dressing ourselves, but what about when we’re undressed? Looking good naked is just as important as looking good clothed. It keeps lovers coming back and generally provides you with higher self-esteem.

I had assumed there was an unsaid grooming standard and cleanliness etiquette, until a friend approached me with this sexual frustration:

“I don’t know where to put my hands! His hair is too greasy, his back is too pimpley and his butt is too hairy!”

Clearly there are people whose mothers never told them what to do. In response, here are some helpful suggestions:

-Wash your hair regularly: Bad odours and grease ensure that the perfect ‘90s teen moment of having your hair brushed away from your face will never happen.

- Manage bad breath: It happens to everyone. Fortunately, there are many quick and easy fixes. After meals, gum or mints are always a good idea to have on you. Don’t go chewing all night, just battle the smell and discreetly spit it out. For morning afters (or nights before) brushing your teeth or using mouthwash is an obvious step. I’m not suggesting you share your toothbrush, but it would be courteous to have a bottle of mouthwash under the sink for potential partners to use.

- Shave: Most people do shave. And although it’s naive to think you have the time to always have smooth legs, for the first bit of a relationship, it should be the standard. As a relationship continues, getting lax on this is understandable, but TO A POINT. Try to have the common sense to know when it’s time, or face the embarrassment of your partner having to politely suggest it.

- Waxing/trimming: Some people wax/trim more places than others, but most everyone should be doing something. Eyebrows, underarms, backs, butts, chests; we all have our more out of control areas, so keep it under control by paying a visit to your local aesthetician. That being said, over-waxing is strange, you don’t want to look like a Ken doll either. If you are trimming, for goodness sakes, be careful! Also be thorough, uneven patches are not hot. General rule, if is sticks out from under your clothes, you need to wax/trim it.

- Man(or lady)-scaping: Some people like the ‘70s look, but bikini waxes, Brazilians and Boyzilians are growing in popularity. Take it down to something you’re comfortable with, but do something. If in a relationship, figure out what your partner is in to, and create a balance from there.

- Wash behind your ears: There are places on our bodies that we may miss or neglect in the shower. Behind your ears, neck, feet, etc., risk getting less attention. Make sure to get all areas to avoid smelly patches or worse, dirt spots.

- Reapply perfume and deodorant: You don’t want to be having hot, sweaty sex and realize that your deodorant has faded. Since the perfume or cologne you have sprayed on your clothes will end up in a ball on the floor, spraying a little on your skin too is a good idea. But not too much, you don’t want your partner tasting your Clinique.

- File down your nails: Not only is this important from a sex point of view (long nails can be very uncomfortable and dangerous!), but it’s important to your overall look. Long nails on guys are NEVER an attractive thing. Not ever. Dirty nails are disgusting, show a lack of self-respect and will cause your lover to be hesitant to let you touch them. Jagged nails also show a lack of self-respect and make you look completely uncivilized. Don’t forget about your toes! Long toe nails are by far one the grossest things of all time. Leave your socks on if you have to (which is less of an etiquette offense in the bedroom).

- Be cognisant of your imperfect areas: If your legs have some stumble, don’t rub them against your lover. If your hair smells like smoke, pull it away from your partner. If your breath smells, try to cover your mouth. If you have a five o’clock shadow, avoid going down.

If your partner is failing in any of these areas, don’t blatantly call them out on it. Be respectful. Suggest, don’t demand. In all likelihood, they don’t realize the problem.

Maybe I’m an over-hygienic lover and a bit like my mother, but I consider these to be general standards and polite behaviour that should be followed.

As for my friend’s problem, she started making couple baths part of foreplay.

Recessionista Chic

2009-11-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

Recessionista: A person who is able to stick to a tight budget while still managing to dress stylishly.

Times are tough and the fashion industry is being hit hard. Fashionistas worldwide are being forced to work with this new thing called a ‘budget’. Fashions influencers began to feel the tightening of purses back during February fashion shows, when suggestions for lower budget runways and accommodations were made (something Anne Wintour and the Vogue team ignored both this season and last). But when major fashion designer Christian Lacroix filed for bankruptcy back in June, the recession reality sunk in. Designers and buyers have since made major cutbacks. Versace, for example, closed three stores in Japan and cut 350 jobs at their head office in the month of October.

In further response, the fashion industry has started promoting a hot new trend that won’t max out your credit card. They are making it chic to be cheap as Recessionista is the new look.

This concept is being promoted at all grades of the fashion industry. The usual elite designers have started creating for the lowly masses. Jimmy Choo, reserved for Sex and the City fantasies, has just launched a reasonably priced shoe line at H&M. Fashion Weeks around the world have given attention to ready-to-wear lines and awarded feature space for the more reasonably priced designs. At this past Toronto Fashion Week the new Joe Fresh Style, carried at Loblaw Cos. Ltd, and Attitude, from Sears Canada Inc., garnered major media attention. Big box stores, usually invisible to those with a higher standard for style, are capitalizing on this trend. The Canadian retail chain Reitmans, has centered their entire marketing campaign around cheap-chic popularity. Their commercials poke fun at the haute couture fashion industry, praising their more practical and affordable lines.

As consumers, we love this. We are officially allowed to make conscious reasoning for our purchasing instead of strained justification. Fashion cred is being built on great finds and cheap deals instead of pricey labels. The fashion industry is working with us, instead of dangling luxury in front of our eager purses.

But how long is this going to last? With talk of economic turnaround, how long before bragging rights come at the cost of higher-end purchases? Typically, after times of economic turmoil, economic boom caters to luxury. This is already turning up in the increasing haute couture fashion spreads and the popularizing of luxury items.

So is the trend of Recessionista fashion actually a fad? And will you be letting go of this last season look as easily as boyfriend jackets and shoulder pads?

http://www.vanityfair.com/style/features/2009/05/emily-blunt-portfolio200905#slide=1

The monsters under the bed will sing you to sleep

2009-10-29T22:19:00.000-04:00

Monsters of Folk is an indie-rock super group consisting of Jim James from My Morning Jacket, Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis from Bright Eyes and M. Ward from She and Him. Currently touring their self-titled debut album, hitting Toronto this Monday, it seems fitting to spread the word of this must-know band.

Each member has an illustrious career under their belts. Emo-folk god, Conor Oberst, began making music at age 13, releasing his first album Water in 1993. Working solo and with a variety of bands over the year, Oberst achieved the most success with Bright Eyes, joined by Mike Mogis. Not including EP’s and other side projects, Bright Eyes and Oberst’s solo work have produced a total of 17 albums. Jim James is lead singer of Grammy-nominated My Morning Jacket. With a distinct voice and highly regarded guitar talent, James contributed to The Decemberists 2009 album The Hazards of Love and sang “Going to Acapulco” with Calexico for the Bob Dylan biopic I’m Not There, (a cover I highly recommend!). M. Ward, who worked with Oberst on his side project Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band and joins Zooey Deschanel in the adorable She and Him, rounds off this extremely talented group.

Loyal followers of these indie-folk legends have been waiting a long time for this album, that was first conceived back in 2004. Not to disappoint, the album, released September 22, 2009, combines the best of each member and conveys it through a Southern style folk. Ward, Oberst and James carry lead on five songs each, harmonizing their distinct voices flawlessly along the way. Compared by Rolling Stone Magazine to CSNY, the band heralds back to classic folk. Unlike some of both My Morning Jacket and Bright Eyes albums, each song is highly polished.

Monsters of Folk will calm you, serenade you and make you fall a little more in love with these folk legends.

Check out their single "The Right Place":